Mucking out and Motherhood: Riding through the postnatal phase
Lucy is a freelance writer and founder of content and copywriting service Clementine and Creative. A grassroots rider and mother, Lucy shares her story about postnatal mental health with some supportive and relatable suggestions for other equestrian mums.
As equestrians, if we (God forbid) suffer a physical injury, it’s usually noticeable. Whether we’re walking off a lameness that wouldn’t pass a trot up, have black and blue Belisha
beacon bruising, or are sporting a colourful cast. However, when it comes to our mental health, its effects aren’t always as easy to spot.
Like so many, my mental health has challenged me – predominately I’ve struggled with anxiety, and as we’ve evolved together and my awareness of it has grown, I’ve at times found some comfort in likening it to an injury: mental instead of physical.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve also been tested by mental health postnatally, and it’s only after opening up that I’ve realised how the signs are not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ scenario. However, what is concrete is that you, I, and anyone experiencing it are certainly not alone.
With ‘Let’s talk about mental health’ Riders Minds’ mission, I hope that sharing some of my story and the below support will help in a small way as we work together to raise awareness about mental health within the industry we all love:
Talk
I struggled to talk about my thoughts and feelings postnatally because I assumed they weren’t what I ‘should’ be thinking and feeling, and I was worried I’d be judged.
It wasn’t until I went to see a therapist and spoke to others that I learnt that wasn’t the case. As humans, we strive for connection, and from my experience, talking provided that and was the first stepping stone towards me seeing the wood through the trees.
Whoever you may feel comfortable speaking to, let it out. All of it. Be transparent, dig deep and begin releasing some of what you’re facing. It might feel difficult and different but if you can and want to, know it’s okay to loosen the grip on your reins a little. Riders Minds is here day and night.
Accept help
Easier said than done, I know. And if I could go back in time, I’d certainly have accepted more. From bringing you a homemade lasagne to offering to tidy up and watch your little one(s) while you have half an hour: if you feel comfortable to, take your leg off life and let people in. If only I could tell 2022 Lucy that doing so doesn’t lessen you as a parent or guardian, or make you appear incapable – accepting help means we’re human.
Ask for help
“Easier said than done again!” I couldn’t agree with you more. However, what I realise now is that as I was trying to be and do everything, my struggles weren’t immediately evident to anyone looking in. Of course, it’s important to add there’s no right or wrong way for you to be or do. There’s also no harm in asking loved ones for some of their time if you feel a weight on your shoulders.
Lean on horses
Isn’t it amazing how we’re all connected by these wonderful animals? And I don’t know about you, but for me, horses are therapy.
I sold my mare when I was pregnant because she was ready to step up and it was the right thing to do for her. However in hindsight, pre-baby, horses were a huge part of my life and not being around them post-baby affected me more than I realised.
Riding again, mucking out and generally being back on the yard has undoubtedly helped my mental health. So, I suppose what I’m trying to say is not to forget what made you your amazing self and what else filled your cup before you became a parent or guardian.
Breathe
When your mind feels busy, get outside, feel the sunshine on your face, and breathe. And before I go, here are a few phrases which may speak to you like they do to me:
“Try to focus on the what could be, not the what ifs.”
“You’re not lowering your expectations, you’re evolving them.”
“You are safe, and you are loved.”
Lucy x
Thank you Lucy for sharing your story.
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